Economics 101 Take-Home: Who do YOU think is responsible?

In the post-partisan bliss that is the optimism surrounding this new administration lurks the one issue that will eventually bring back full-force partisan rancor, and it isn’t Iraq.

It’s the economy, stupid (or more accurately, the stupid economy).

The more strident doomsayers (“Socialism!”) have been relatively quiet since Sept. 15th when Lehman Bros went belly up; but now that there is, in fact, a Democratic administration in place, one can only hear the claws and teeth being sharpened once again.

Since I’ve mentioned that there is a rather considerable lacuna in my liberal arts education that should be filled by economics (I avoided it; I was a (still recovering) pre-med), it has been very hard for me to keep track of who is truly at fault for this mess.

I finally decided that the only way to really determine where blame lies would be to throw out the most plausible candidates from all side of the socio-politico-economo-religio-philosophico-academi-punditocratic spectrum.

So I’m gonna ask for a little class participation here. I’m gonna provide a list for starters. Feel free to add anything you like (however, if you even come close to blaming the Jews, I will find you.)

Here goes:

Bernie Madoff.

Anyone who invested with Bernie Madoff.

Anyone who worked for Bernie Madoff.

Anyone who knew what Bernie Madoff was up to.

Anyone who didn’t know what Bernie Madoff was up to and was PAID to know.

Sarbanes-Oxley. Glass-Steagall. McCain-Feingold. Hawley-Smoot.

Rich people who don’t pay taxes.

Rich people who pay taxes and bitch about it.

Rich people who pay taxes and think they should pay more.

Poor people who don’t pay taxes.

Poor people who pay taxes AND vote Republican.

Poor people who pay taxes AND vote Republican AND bought houses with subprime loans.

Poor people who pay taxes AND vote Republican AND bought houses with subprime loans and THEN bitch about the economy.

Fannie Mae. Freddie Mac. The justice of the peace who joined them in un-holy monetarimony.

Any CEO whose compensation package stretched into seven figures before the stock options kicked in.

Any CEO whose compensation package stretched into seven figures after the stock options kicked in.

The Bailout. No matter who’s being bailed out or for how much.

Any automobile manufacturer (US, Japan, or anywhere else) for still using the internal combustion engine.

Big Oil.

Every country in the Middle East except for Israel (because Israel has no oil).

All of Western Europe (“Axis of Weasel”), for not backing us in Iraq. (Although we can partially forgive France because they elected Sarkozy.)

All of Eastern Europe and the UK, for backing us in Iraq.

The UN.

Big Food. Whole Foods.

Democrats. Republicans. Independents. Conservatives. Neo-conservatives. Paleo-conservatives. Liberals. Progressives. Bernie Sanders. Lyndon LaRouche.

ALL talk show hosts—radio, TV, cable—no matter their political inclinations.

The unemployed. The employed. Employers. Employees.

Unions, especially the UTA and NEA.