The Super Bowl: Another Entitlement?

There has been a theory that the NFL is the last bastion of American manhood, if not all elements of our culture that conservatives find favor with (well, most conservatives; who can forget George Will’s plaint that the game “combines the worst elements of American life: violence and committee meetings”) and progressives find objectionable (viz. “The Stronger Women Get, The More Men Love Football”; “For Pride, Profit, and Patricarchy”; “Men Will Be Boys”).

From the vantage point of this particular self-hating conservative rabid football fan, last night’s Super Bowl contest (like last year’s, instantly (and justifiably) canonized as one of the top five contests in the game’s history) moves the NFL further towards progressive/liberal values than it already has gone, entrenched as it is in egalitarianism (parity) and socialism (the TV contracts even sharing among all 32 clubs).

Of the last ten Super Bowls, six have been decided by a touchdown or less, with the game winning score occurring in the final two minutes in five of those; two have been gameworthy until the middle of the fourth quarter (XL and XLI); and the other two (XXXV and XXXVII), though blowouts, showcased what might have been two of the best defenses in NFL history (the 2000 Ravens and 2002 Buccaneers).

Additionally, as the commercials have become more and more tailor-made for the broadcast, enough that they almost have become a broadcast in their own right, the expectations for the quality of the commercials almost exceed the expectations of the quality of the game.

It’s as if a good game AND good commercials have become another entitlement. (Well, maybe in our current economy America might have deserved it.)

Of the four major professional sports, football is the only whose championship is decided in one contest. This might be why people the miss strong element of drama that surrounds a Super Bowl: always a storyline that not only is a lead-in to the game, but also within the game itself, no matter how one-sided or sloppy the game might be, which almost always make the game memorable.

I have seen full telecasts of every Super Bowl, except for I and II, which don’t exist because NBC and CBS erased the tapes, and V, which also seems to have disappeared. The only Super Bowl that had all the drama sucked out of it before the first quarter ended was VIII, when the Dolphins scored touchdowns the first two times they had the ball on almost identical 10-play, 5-1/2 minute drives, sandwiched around a Vikings three-and-out. It might be the only Super Bowl where the highlight film is more exciting than the game.

So, if you ever think there was a Super Bowl not worth watching, you just haven’t studied your football.